18 things I've learned by 18

I turned 18 about a month ago and this post has been in my draft, incomplete for a while now so I finally decided to sit down and finish it (as a form of procrastination because I really don’t feel like completing my assignment right now). Anyway, for my birthday I traveled back to Perth to be with family and friends and they spoilt me rotten. I had a great time and am forever grateful for them.

I wanted to do this post for my 17th as well, but when I sit down to write a list of things that I feel like I’ve learned about myself over the years, I can never really pin anything down or jot it down as dot points.
Of course, I’ve learned a lot over my first 18 years here but I think I was just concerned about how raw and real I can be on here. It took me a while to finally compile a list and some of it might not make that much sense but here’s what I’ve got. Also, it 
just felt kind of awkward to be addressing to myself but I had already written about half the post and I haven't posted in a while so I figured I might as well.

1. You enjoy being independent. That shouldn’t make you feel selfish. You are your own person and to take time out for yourself and to enjoy your own company, you are allowed to do that.

2. Give yourself some credit. You're always too focused on what you could've achieved, rather than what you already have. 

3. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. You would think that you’ve learnt this by now, but you still have a hard time distancing yourself from the toxicity of some people because you fear isolation. But the company of those you put you down and don’t make you feel great about yourself is far shittier than your solitude.

4. You’re capable of doing so much. You have so much potential!! Sometimes you give up too easily and that stops you from growing. If you have the capability, put it to use.

5. It’s a bad day, not a bad life. And I know that’s a cliché thing to say but honestly just cry it out, talk to someone about it, get some closure. I promise, you’ll get over it.

6. Let yourself feel but don’t force it upon yourself. You can find it hard to process emotions but don't ponder over it.

7. Don't let what happened in the past dictate what will or must happen in the future. Not all circumstances and people will be replicas of those you've experienced or encountered. Don't shy away from opportunities and people because you think it will just turn out the same way again. Stop waiting for something bad to happen so that you can say "told you so". Why are you doing that to yourself? You always assume the worst but you know it's never that bad.

8. Everything will work out in the end. What you’re worrying about now, won’t even matter in a days or months. Everything will fall into place.

9. Stop caring about what people will think or say. Literally no one has the time. Everyone is so involved within their own lives.

10. People want to be around you. I know your anxiety plays into every aspect of your life, but if people stick by you and you want their company and friendship, don’t push them away. They are there because they want to be, no one is forcing them.

11. Speak up, in class, for others and for yourself. I know you say some dumb things mouth, but mostly your ideas and thoughts are pretty relevant and interesting. Stop being afraid.

12. Stop comparing yourself to the 'ideals'- how you should look, what you should be doing, what you should’ve accomplished by a certain age. Stop caring so much about how you’ll regret not doing some things and that when you’re older you want to make sure you can look back and say you did that. It just puts you in a bad space because no matter what, with that mindset you’ll never be satisfied or feel fulfilled. So just live in the moment and take things as they come.

13. Relationships you have with people in your life right now are the best they’ve ever been. although it might be negative to thing to think of it as temporary, just remember that in this moment you are so happy and so blessed. Cherish it and do your absolute best to keep it this way.

14. Do not give up on your blog and creative outlets. They make you so happy and make you feel accomplished. and even though you often question what the point of it is or why you even do it when you don’t receive the expected reactions, you should remember that you do a lot of this for yourself, not to please others. Numbers and stats don’t matter half as much as the feeling you get when you write and create.

15. Think in the long term. You are a very indecisive person that constantly craves change and you make too many decisions based on your immediate emotions. You cannot let that dictate your actions anymore. Think before you act on something because what you want right now might satisfy you temporarily but you will regret it late on, on a much greater scale.

16. You have to go out of your way to make things happen, for yourself. It’s the only way it will work. If YOU want it, YOU have to act upon it.

17. Stop! Feeling! So! Damn! Guilt! All! The! Goddamn! Time! For! Existing!

18. You're only 18 and you have a lot more learning to do. Remember that what you’re feeling today about something or someone, you might not even feel tomorrow so don’t get caught up in one way of being. Keep an open mind but be realistic. 

This was not the easiest post I've published as it was quite raw and personal but I have another blogpost coming up with me talking about that and other things that've been on my mind. 
I've just slacked a lot on my upload rate and although I don't think anyone else cares, I've let myself down quite and will get back to writing a bit more. Do a little more to make myself happy you know. 

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