Neither me, nor you.

Illustration from @littleguns_ on X

For Isla Bell

I walked the same roads as you
crossed the same paths but
in the end, only one of us gets to keep walking.
What made me live and you not?
Sheer luck.
And that’s what we have to depend on
that’s what we have to wish upon.
To be able to breathe.


What makes my actions lead to nothing more
than a mildly concerning story and hers to an obituary?


Everything I read or hear about this I think to myself…
What’s the difference between me and her and her actions and mine
I’ve met people like the ones she encountered and was perhaps just as close
to ending up like she
So why did it happen to her and not to me?


What makes me different? What makes her so easy to be taken away?
Why do I even have to be in a position where I wonder why her and not me?

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Isla Bell was a missing woman for a large part of 2024. In October/ November 2024, they found her remains. She had been murdered. The reporting on her case is difficult to read as it insinuates and blames Isla somewhat for what happened. It’s unacceptable. It’s painful. But it’s a narrative we’ve read and heard over and over. All I know now is that I wish nothing but torment upon the men who did this to her and those everywhere who have destroyed/are destroying/continue to destroy the lives of women. And I extend it further to those who destroy them even in their deaths.