Feelin' something

the state of being happy.

Happiness is just something everyone wants. No one wants to be unhappy or voluntarily gives up their happiness. We all just want to be loved, accepted and at peace, not just with ourselves, but also the world around us. Life just doesn't go the way we want it to sometimes and we have to be okay with it. Without seeing the 'downs', we would never be able to appreciate the 'ups'. I know that saying all this is so much easier than actually trying to live with this mentality when you're going through a rough time. If I had to speak from my own personal experience, I'd have to say that I wasn't positive and that I had very negative thoughts and it was unhealthy. Any little thing that might not work out the way we expected it to can be devastating and make us feel shitty. But it's human nature, it's hardwired into our brain to react this way, and all that we really need to do is accept it and tell yourselves that IT'S OKAY. For those who believe in God a phrase like 'god only gave you this life, because you were string enough to live it' might help a bit, but for those who have no faith is such a thing (as I), we just need to realise that things get better. There is a point, a absolute rock bottom, where there is nothing that could go worse, and if you feel like you're at that point, you need to realise that it literally CAN'T get any worse, meaning that you have nothing to loose and there is only one way to go from there, and that is up. YOU are responsible for your own happiness. YOU decide how you want to be happy. Get rid of the people who make you feel bad about yourself, do something that you know you're good at and give yourself a confidence boost, have a rest - meditate, go sit in the park, have some you time. Realise that you are in charge of yourself and that the body you are in, is the body that you will be in for the rest of your life, so make it a happy and healthy place and realise that IT IS OKAY TO GO THROUGH SHITTY TIMES IN LIFE.

This a post I found a while back on Facebook. I think everyone should read it- 
Hope this helps you in some way

(The following paragraphs had been sat in my draft box for a while now. I wrote it towards the beginning of the year when I was going through a weird and not so great time. I know, I am once again roleplaying the stereotypical teen girl who has everything at her feet, yet still complains about her life and has existential crisis over basically nothing. But there was really a period where I left very left out and lonely and totally helpless, and no matter how rich you are, how many friends you have, how fortunate you are, how popular, how liked, how wanted. This feeling dwells upon EVERYONE regardless. Things have gotten better since then, and so I've decided to post this. I hope someone else who's going through something like this can read and realise it's normal to have ups and downs and that it will get better, even if it takes time.)

Sometimes I feel as though I've been lacking. I just don't feel happy anymore. Of course I laugh and smile and joke around, but within myself I feel helpless and I can't say "I'm a happy person right now" and truly mean it. I don't know what it is about me but I've been weird. Maybe I've been lacking happiness due to being quite isolated from the beginning of this year. It's funny isn't it, how we need someone else's company to make ourselves feel fulfilled and not so empty. But it just is what it is. I've hardly interacted properly with someone in person this year so far, I've distanced myself from a lot of my friends and I've just been quite reluctant to share anything with anyone. I feel as though people will get tired of me and listening to me complaining, if all I do is talk about how unhappy I am. 
I have tried to talk to people about this. But I mean what are they meant to do about it? It's my problem; at the end of the day I'm the one who needs to do something to solve it. 
But I guess I've also been distancing myself from people I would say I'm 'close' with because I have this image, this label tied to me. I'm this very cheerful, carefree, comic people in many people's minds, and until last year I guess I would agree to that. But now I just feel like I'm obliged to be that person no matter what. I don't actually think anyone takes me seriously when I try to talk to them about how I've been feeling, especially the people who I'm the closest with because they're the ones who've seen me at my best times. 
I feel a bit shitty honestly. Being alone. I guess this is life though. In the end I'm the only one that will have to care about me. I'm not saying people don't care about me, because I know that they do. I'm saying that My body, my mind are the only places where I have to live forever, so I need to do whatever I can to make the best of it. 

I don't really know what the point of this post was, because I derived no conclusion or answer from this. I guess I just needed my thoughts to be out there. If any one else feels like this, this will just be a little post for them, so they know that it happens to others as well and somewhat make them feel a bit included once again. 

(Things were a lot worse than what I had written and described here, but now from personal experience let me tell you IT GETS BETTER)


  1. Happiness is so complex to understand because when you are sad, you want it but yet a large amount of people become paranoid and feel selfish as soon as they become happy. It’s a feeling that comes and goes and in reality the memories that once made us happy all have an ending and as soon as we remember that its back to feeling empty. I think it’s important to find something that continues to make you happy like a hobby or even getting into a religion, something that is always there so even when these happy moments end there will always be something to turn around and do without the world interrupting.
    I’m sorry for the long paragraph, I’m used to writing a bunch of essays :D
    Klaudia x x

    1. I completely agree! The term 'happy' is so broad and complex and often has different meanings for other individuals. My explanation of happiness can be completely different to someone else's.
      Thank you for the beautiful comment x